你長(zhǎng)久婚姻的秘密是什么(一)
What's your secret to your long-lasting marriage?
譯文簡(jiǎn)介
網(wǎng)友：婚姻是一生的承諾。人們應(yīng)該結(jié)婚生子，建立家庭，并珍惜與配偶、子女和孫子孫女的愛(ài)，直到余生。換句話說(shuō)，婚姻應(yīng)該是建立在持久的基礎(chǔ)上的......
正文翻譯
What's your secret to your long-lasting marriage?
你長(zhǎng)久婚姻的秘密是什么？
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Marriage is a lifetime commitment. People are supposed to marry to procreate, start a family, and cherish their love with their own spouse, children, and grandchildren for the rest of their lives. In other words, marriage is supposed to be built to last.
If there is one good secret to having a lasting marriage, it would be to make oneself ready to enter into this kind of relationship. You should not just marry a person because you have fallen in love and you feel like you already want to spend the rest of your life with her or him.
What if you get married? What happens now? How would you really spend the rest of your life with your chosen wife or husband? It’s natural to fall in love. It’s easy to make a wedding vow. But in order to fulfill your promise, you need to know how you will exactly do that.
To guide you, here are some tips to make your marriage healthy and long-lasting:
婚姻是一生的承諾。人們應(yīng)該結(jié)婚生子，建立家庭，并珍惜與配偶、子女和孫子孫女的愛(ài)，直到余生。換句話說(shuō)，婚姻應(yīng)該是建立在持久的基礎(chǔ)上的。
如果有一個(gè)好的秘密，有一個(gè)持久的婚姻，這將是使自己準(zhǔn)備進(jìn)入這種關(guān)系。你不應(yīng)該僅僅因?yàn)閻?ài)上一個(gè)人而結(jié)婚，而應(yīng)該是你覺(jué)得你已經(jīng)想和她或他共度余生了。
如果你結(jié)婚了呢？現(xiàn)在發(fā)生了什么？你將如何與你選擇的妻子或丈夫共度余生？墜入愛(ài)河是很自然的。許愿很容易。但為了實(shí)現(xiàn)你的承諾，你需要知道你將如何做到這一點(diǎn)。
以下是一些能讓你的婚姻健康長(zhǎng)久的小竅門(mén)：
Live in a house which is separate from both of your parents. This will give your marriage the freedom it needs to mature and grow in its own way,
2. Bless your home and your marriage.
Blessings are what you earned by doing the right things and avoiding sins. Therefore, bless your home and your family, not only by praying but also by practicing righteousness and avoiding wickedness.
3. Do not envy other couples or people.
Be grateful for the blessings and graces you receive every day. Always thank your wife or husband for the little or great efforts they make to take care and love you. If you see happy couples or families, be inspired and happy to see them instead of being envious or bitter.
獨(dú)立于父母和公婆。
住在與父母分開(kāi)的房子里。這會(huì)給你的婚姻帶來(lái)成熟和成長(zhǎng)所需的自由，
祝福你的家和你的婚姻。
祝福是你通過(guò)做正確的事情和避免造惡而獲得的。因此，祝福你的家和你的家人，不僅要祈禱，而且要做好事，避免做惡。
不要嫉妒其他夫婦或人。
感謝你每天所得到的祝福和恩典。永遠(yuǎn)感謝你的妻子或丈夫，感謝他們?yōu)檎疹櫤蛺?ài)你所付出的微薄或巨大的努力。如果你看到了其他幸福的夫妻或家庭，那么你應(yīng)該為他們感到鼓舞和高興，而不是嫉妒或怨恨。
Do not be ignorant of your marital responsibilities. Know that as husband and wife, the both of you are obliged to live together, support each other, be honest with each other, be faithful to each other, do procreation, and take care of your children.
5. Fulfill your marital obligations to each other.
Knowing your marital duties is not enough. Hence, don’t just be reminded but do your best to perform those obligations mentioned above.
6. Surrender your body to your wife or husband.
Let your spouse have the authority over your body, and vice versa. This means if your husband tells you not to wear revealing clothes, follow your husband. And for the husband, if your wife tells you not to touch or be touched by other women, then follow your wife.
了解你的婚姻責(zé)任和義務(wù)。
不要忽視你的婚姻責(zé)任。要知道，作為夫妻，你們生活在一起都是有義務(wù)的，互相支持，誠(chéng)實(shí)相待，互相忠誠(chéng)，生育，照顧孩子。
履行你們對(duì)彼此的婚姻義務(wù)。
僅僅知道你的婚姻義務(wù)是不夠的。因此，不要只是被提醒，而是盡你所能履行上述義務(wù)。
把你的身體交給你的妻子或丈夫。
讓你的配偶有權(quán)支配你的身體，反之亦然。這意味著如果你的丈夫告訴你不要穿暴露的衣服，要聽(tīng)你的丈夫的話。至于丈夫，如果你的妻子告訴你不要碰或被別的女人碰，那就聽(tīng)你的妻子的話。
Learn to love yourself. Have a balanced diet, do regular exercise, get enough sleep, avoid vices that get you sick, and always improve your personal development. Remember that you cannot love and take care of your family if you can’t even love and take care of yourself.
8. Be fearless and get rid of your insecurities.
Love your wife or husband without expecting love in return. Love your spouse without fearing that someday she or he will be gone. Enjoy giving pure love. Remember that the love you give will never be lost.
9. Trust your spouse.
Realize that trusting your partner is an essential key to having a long-lasting marriage. Know your spouse better. Listen to her or him. Stop making false assumptions. Unless there is clear evidence that your spouse is deceiving you, always treat her or him as a person who can be trusted.
像愛(ài)你的配偶一樣愛(ài)你自己。
學(xué)會(huì)愛(ài)自己。均衡的飲食，經(jīng)常鍛煉，充足的睡眠，避免讓你生病的惡習(xí)，不斷提高你自己。記住，如果你連自己都不能愛(ài)和照顧好，你就不能愛(ài)和照顧你的家人。
無(wú)所畏懼，擺脫你的不安全感。
愛(ài)你的妻子或丈夫，不要期待愛(ài)的回報(bào)。愛(ài)你的配偶，不要害怕有一天她或他會(huì)離開(kāi)。享受給予純潔的愛(ài)。記住，你給予的愛(ài)永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)被失去的。
相信你的配偶。
認(rèn)識(shí)到信任你的伴侶是擁有長(zhǎng)久婚姻的關(guān)鍵。更要了解你的配偶，聽(tīng)她或他說(shuō)，別再胡思亂想了。除非有明顯的證據(jù)表明你的配偶欺騙了你，否則一定要把她或他當(dāng)作一個(gè)可以信任的人。
Don’t ask your spouse to give you trust. Work hard, earn, and maintain it. Help your better half trust you easily.
11. Always thank your better half.
Thank your wife or husband for the care and sacrifice she or he is giving you. Let your better half feel that everything she or he does to you, even if they are just simple things, they are valued and appreciated.
12. Have more patience.
Stop complaining when your goals and wishes are not yet achieved. Understand that great things are worth the wait. Be calm and do not be easily angry. When you experience trials and challenges in your relationship, consider them as opportunities to strengthen the love and faithfulness in your marriage.
值得信賴。
不要要求你的配偶給你信任。努力工作，掙錢(qián)，維持生活。幫助你的另一半更容易信任你。
永遠(yuǎn)感謝你的另一半。
感謝你的妻子或丈夫?qū)δ愕年P(guān)心和犧牲。讓你的另一半感覺(jué)到，她或他對(duì)你所做的一切，即使只是簡(jiǎn)單的事情，都是值得珍惜和欣賞的。
多點(diǎn)耐心。
當(dāng)你的目標(biāo)和愿望還沒(méi)有實(shí)現(xiàn)時(shí)，不要抱怨。明白偉大的事情值得等待。保持冷靜，不要輕易生氣。當(dāng)你在你們的關(guān)系中經(jīng)歷考驗(yàn)和挑戰(zhàn)時(shí)，把它們看作是加強(qiáng)婚姻中的愛(ài)和忠誠(chéng)的機(jī)會(huì)。
Don’t let the day ends with hatred in your heart. Make peace with your wife or husband before the two of you sleep at night.
14. Be healthy and beautiful for your better half.
Continue impressing your spouse. Have good hygiene, maintain your natural beauty, go to the gym, do meditations, and eat a balanced diet to always look stunning for your wife
15. Avoid bad and toxic people.
Choose your friends and companions. Avoid people who will influence you to sin or do extramarital affairs. Stay away from people who will corrupt your good character and ruin your marriage.
如果你生氣了，在一天結(jié)束前把它處理掉。
不要讓這一天以你心中的仇恨而結(jié)束。在你們兩個(gè)晚上睡覺(jué)之前和你的妻子或丈夫和好。
為了你的另一半健康美麗。
持續(xù)給你的配偶留下深刻印象。保持良好的衛(wèi)生習(xí)慣，保持你的自然美，去健身房，冥想，均衡飲食，讓你的妻子看起來(lái)美極了
避免壞人和會(huì)帶壞你的人。
選擇你的朋友和同伴。避開(kāi)那些會(huì)連累你犯罪或引起婚外情的人。遠(yuǎn)離那些會(huì)敗壞你良好品格，毀掉你婚姻的人。
Prioritize your spouse, your children, your marriage, and your family over less significant things
17. Confess your sins and ask for forgiveness.
Stop pointing fingers and placing blame on your spouse. Admit your mistakes and sincerely ask your spouse for her or his forgiveness.
18. Pray to heal and forgive.
Meditate for enlightenment and pray for the healing of your heartaches. Take your time.
成熟一點(diǎn)，選擇你的優(yōu)先事項(xiàng)。
把你的配偶、孩子、婚姻和家庭放在次要的事情前面；
懺悔你的罪惡，請(qǐng)求寬恕。
別再指責(zé)你的配偶了。承認(rèn)你的錯(cuò)誤，真誠(chéng)地請(qǐng)求你的配偶原諒。
祈禱治愈和寬恕。
為開(kāi)悟而冥想，為治愈你的心痛而祈禱，慢慢來(lái)。
Do not be hasty with your actions and decisions. Think twice and always consider the consequences before you make a move or a choice.
20. Be kind and compassionate.
Feel what your spouse feels. Experience your partner’s pain or joy. Have compassion by understanding the innermost needs of your wife or husband. Give your spouse comfort, embrace, kindness, if she or he needs them.
21. Be humble.
Learn how to swallow your pride so that you can practice humility, forgiveness, and gracefulness. Moreover, live a simple and quiet life with your family to avoid problems which are too difficult for you to handle.
謹(jǐn)慎行事。
你做行動(dòng)和決定不要草率。三思而后行，在你采取行動(dòng)或做出選擇之前，一定要考慮后果。
仁慈和富有同情心。
感受你配偶的感受。體驗(yàn)伴侶的痛苦或快樂(lè)。需要有同情心來(lái)理解你妻子或丈夫內(nèi)心深處。如果你的配偶需要，給她安慰，擁抱，友善。
要謙虛。
學(xué)會(huì)如何放下驕傲，這樣你就可以練習(xí)如何謙遜、寬恕和優(yōu)雅。此外，與家人過(guò)一種簡(jiǎn)單而安靜的生活，以避免遇到你難以處理的問(wèn)題。
Do not dwell on the past but focus on the present moment. Do not let your heartbreaks from the past ruin your current relationship. Do not let your worries about the future stop you from spending quality time with your spouse. Seize the opportunities today to show how much you love your wife or husband.
23. Quit recording your spouse’s past mistakes.
Stop counting and remembering your spouse past wrongs, especially if you have already forgiven them. Quit using them against your partner when you argue just to win the battle.
24. Stop keeping score.
In relation to #23, also quit on counting the good deeds you have done for your marriage just to show how superior you are to your spouse. Remember that marriage is not a competition but a unx between you and your partner. Promote teamwork in your relationship, not rivalry.
活在當(dāng)下。
不要沉湎于過(guò)去，而要專注于現(xiàn)在。不要讓你過(guò)去的痛苦毀掉你現(xiàn)在的關(guān)系。不要讓你對(duì)未來(lái)的擔(dān)憂阻止你與配偶共度美好時(shí)光。抓住今天的機(jī)會(huì)，向你的妻子或丈夫表達(dá)你的愛(ài)。
停止記錄你配偶過(guò)去的錯(cuò)誤。
停止計(jì)算和回憶你的配偶過(guò)去的錯(cuò)誤，尤其是如果你已經(jīng)原諒了他們。當(dāng)你為了贏得戰(zhàn)斗而爭(zhēng)吵的時(shí)候，不要用它們來(lái)對(duì)付你的伴侶。
別再記誰(shuí)付出多。
關(guān)于點(diǎn)，也不要記著你為婚姻所做的好事，只是為了表明你比你的配偶優(yōu)越。記住，婚姻不是競(jìng)爭(zhēng)，而是你和你的伴侶的結(jié)合。在你們的關(guān)系中保持團(tuán)隊(duì)合作，而不是競(jìng)爭(zhēng)。
Create plans, goals, and dreams for your spouse, your children and your whole family rather than just for yourself. Put your own happiness in their happiness.
26. Be loyal.
Never ever cheat. Don’t ever think that you will get another chance once you’ve done cheating, infidelity, and other extramarital affairs. Keep your marriage vows in your heart, mind, and soul.
27. Never stop loving.
Don’t stop caring for your spouse even if the two of you are arguing or fighting. Continue to love your wife or husband even if the two of you are quarreling and considering each other as enemies.
要無(wú)私。
為你的配偶、孩子和整個(gè)家庭制定計(jì)劃、目標(biāo)和夢(mèng)想，而不僅僅是為你自己。把自己的幸福放在整個(gè)家的幸福里。
要忠誠(chéng)。
永遠(yuǎn)不要作弊。不要以為一旦你欺騙、不忠和發(fā)生其他婚外情，你會(huì)有另一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)。把你的結(jié)婚誓言放在心里、思想和靈魂里。
永遠(yuǎn)不要停止愛(ài)。
即使你們兩個(gè)在爭(zhēng)吵或吵架，也不要停止對(duì)配偶的照顧。即使你們兩個(gè)吵架，認(rèn)為對(duì)方是敵人，繼續(xù)愛(ài)你的妻子或丈夫。
Fight with all your might and don’t give up easily when your marriage is tested. Understand that it’s normal for married couples to encounter problems that will test their love. If things are getting too difficult, get a support system. Gain spiritual strength from God and get support from your family and friends.
29. Have faith.
Do something to realize the things you hope for. Understand that having faith is not just believing but also doing something to make what you believe in happen. In other words, have faith with deeds. If you’re faithful to your spouse, don’t just hope or believe that your marriage will last but do your best to keep yourself away from temptations.
30. Give only true love.
There is no secret to a long-lasting marriage but genuine love. Hence, learn and identify what the true love is. Evaluate yourself if you’re really giving real love to your spouse. If not, work for it. Remember that true love is not given magically to your wife or husband, but it is something that you need to work hard for. It requires your patience, perseverance, humility, honesty, and more.
不要失去希望。
盡你所能奮斗，當(dāng)你的婚姻經(jīng)受考驗(yàn)時(shí)不要輕易放棄。明白已婚夫婦遇到考驗(yàn)他們愛(ài)情的問(wèn)題是很正常的。如果事情變得太困難，找一個(gè)支持系統(tǒng)。從神那里獲得力量、從你的家人和朋友那里得到支持。
要有信心。
做點(diǎn)什么來(lái)實(shí)現(xiàn)你的愿望。要明白，有信心不僅僅是相信，而且是做一些事情來(lái)實(shí)現(xiàn)你的信仰。換言之，對(duì)行為要有信心。如果你對(duì)你的配偶忠誠(chéng)，不要只希望或相信你的婚姻會(huì)長(zhǎng)久，而要盡力讓自己遠(yuǎn)離誘惑。
只給真愛(ài)。
長(zhǎng)久的婚姻沒(méi)有秘密，只有真愛(ài)。因此，學(xué)習(xí)并確定什么是真愛(ài)。如果你真的在給你的配偶真正的愛(ài)，那就評(píng)估一下你自己。如果沒(méi)有，那就努力吧。記住，真愛(ài)不是被神奇地給予你的妻子或丈夫，而是你需要為之努力的東西。它需要你的耐心、毅力、謙遜、誠(chéng)實(shí)等等。
Don’t just be a better spouse to your wife or husband, but also be a better parent to your children. To make your marriage last, make your family happy and successful too. Teach your children how to become good and responsible people so that they will not be your family’s problem in the future.
32. Let love be the center of your marriage.
Know that true love binds all the good virtues that will help you and your spouse have a happy and long-lasting marriage. It unites your patience, kindness, compassion, humility, truthfulness, and faithfulness in perfect harmony to make your relationship last. Hence, always let love be the center of your marriage, not money and other material things.
管教你的孩子。
不要只是做一個(gè)更好的妻子或丈夫的配偶，也要更好的做一個(gè)孩子的父母。讓你的婚姻長(zhǎng)久，讓你的家庭也幸福和成功。教你的孩子如何成為一個(gè)好的、負(fù)責(zé)任的人，這樣他們?cè)趯?lái)就不會(huì)成為你家的問(wèn)題。
讓愛(ài)成為你婚姻的中心。
要知道，真正的愛(ài)情結(jié)合了所有的美德，這些美德將幫助你和你的配偶擁有一個(gè)幸福而持久的婚姻。它將你的耐心、善良、同情、謙遜、誠(chéng)實(shí)和忠誠(chéng)完美地結(jié)合在一起，使你們的關(guān)系持續(xù)下去。因此，永遠(yuǎn)讓愛(ài)成為你婚姻的中心，而不是金錢(qián)和其他物質(zhì)的東西。
Understand that marriage is teamwork. That is why the both of you are called better halves. To have a long-lasting marriage, both of you should strive to follow the tips above. It won’t work if only one is working it out. But if your partner is struggling to be a better spouse, remember not to judge her or him quickly or force your better half to change instantly. Instead, be a role model and show your beloved spouse how to practice the ways above.
Remember no marriage is perfect .Every couple is different .
最后的想法
明白婚姻就是團(tuán)隊(duì)合作。這就是為什么你們都被稱為更好的一半。要想擁有一段長(zhǎng)久的婚姻，你們兩個(gè)都應(yīng)該努力遵循上面的建議。如果只有一個(gè)人在解決，那就行不通了。但是，如果你的另一半正在努力成為一個(gè)更好的配偶，記住不要對(duì)她或他很快做出判斷，也不要強(qiáng)迫你的另一半立即改變。相反，做一個(gè)榜樣，向你心愛(ài)的配偶展示如何實(shí)踐上述方法。
記住，沒(méi)有完美的婚姻，每對(duì)夫妻都是不同的。
a marriage is an equal partnership, filled with: compromise, commitment, understanding, LOVE, faithfulness, listening, etc.
My answer is to always retain your *individuality* and hang on to your individual interests and hobbies. Just because we are married, it does not mean that we are “joined at the hip” for life.
I have my own thoughts, opinions and ideas. I do whatever I want, whenever I want. I refuse to be TOLD what to do, at any given time. My spouse is NOT my boss, or my Mother, or my Master.
When one spouse gives power to the other, that’s when the marriage becomes a disaster waiting to happen. Married couples should compliment each other. I don’t mean to lavish praise on the other, I mean her positive attributes should compliment and reinforce his positive attributes.
婚姻是一種平等的伙伴關(guān)系，充滿了：妥協(xié)、承諾、理解、愛(ài)、忠誠(chéng)、傾聽(tīng)等等方面。
我的答案是永遠(yuǎn)保持你的個(gè)性，堅(jiān)持你的個(gè)人興趣和愛(ài)好。我們結(jié)婚了，并不意味著我們就一輩子“合二為一”。
我有自己的想法、觀點(diǎn)和想法。我想干什么就干什么。在任何時(shí)候，我都拒絕別人告訴我該做什么。我的配偶不是我的老板，不是我的母親，也不是我的主人。
當(dāng)一方給予另一方權(quán)力時(shí)，婚姻就變成了一場(chǎng)等待發(fā)生的災(zāi)難。已婚夫婦應(yīng)該互相稱贊。我不是要對(duì)對(duì)方大加贊揚(yáng)我，我是說(shuō)她應(yīng)該贊美和強(qiáng)化他的積極品質(zhì)。
One thing to keep in mind is the difference between EXPECTATION vs REALITY. Your marriage will *never* turn out to be some (ridiculous) Fairy-Tale, like the ones we see on TV shows or in movies. It’s probably the biggest reason why divorce rates sit at 50%, people expect “Happily Ever After” and when they don’t attain that fantasy, they become disillusioned and call-it-quits.
And we talk to one another. Probably the most important aspect of keeping a marriage alive. ALSO, every marriage is DIFFERENT and one list of *suggestions* will never fit every relationship.
A happy marriage consists of whatever makes YOU happy! AND if you (the husband) choose to wake up every day, and decide to spend every waking moment trying to make HER happy, then do THAT!
我的婚姻之所以長(zhǎng)久，是因?yàn)樵谌魏翁囟ǖ臅r(shí)間，我們每個(gè)人都會(huì)做自己的“事情”，而不管那是什么。我們確實(shí)在一起度過(guò)了時(shí)光；我們都在工作，為家庭收入做貢獻(xiàn)，我們都在家里幫忙做家務(wù)，我們都出去玩，我們都做飯，招待客人。
要記住的一點(diǎn)是期望和現(xiàn)實(shí)之間的區(qū)別。你的婚姻永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)像我們?cè)陔娨暪?jié)目或電影中看到的那樣，變成某種（荒謬的）童話。這可能是離婚率保持在50%的最大原因，人們期望從此幸?？鞓?lè)，當(dāng)他們沒(méi)有實(shí)現(xiàn)這一幻想時(shí)，他們就會(huì)幻想破滅，并就此罷休。
我們彼此交談。可能是維持婚姻生活最重要的方面。而且，每段婚姻都是不同的，一份“建議”清單永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)適合每段關(guān)系。
幸福的婚姻是由任何讓你幸福的東西組成的！如果你（丈夫）選擇每天醒來(lái)，決定把醒著的每一刻都花在讓她開(kāi)心上，那就這么做吧！