我如何阻止自己過度思考和過度分析我所做的一切以及人們可能對我的一切看法?
How do I stop myself from overthinking and overanalysing everything I do and everything people might think about me?譯文簡介
網(wǎng)友:別再胡思亂想了?;ㄐr間重新連接你的思想、心靈和直覺。最簡單的方法是冥想。事實(shí)上,沒有人比你自己更在乎你。不要擔(dān)心太多。只要你不傷害自己、他人和環(huán)境,一切都會很好。一旦你開始生活,你就會停止過度分析......
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Get out of your head.
Spend some time to re-connect your mind, heart, and gut. Easiest way is through meditation.
In reality, no one really cares about you as much as you do.
Plus. Stop worrying so much. As long as you are not hurting yourself, other people, and the environment, everything will work out just fine.
You will stop over analyzing as soon as you start living.
When a person over analyzes everything, they are doing the opposite of living. They are living to die in finding reasons for errors.
Here’s what you do.
Have fun. Play. Think onward and forward.
Right now, you are thinking against yourself trying to rationalize every move backwards.
Get into a water balloon fight. You can not make mistakes in a water balloon fight no matter how many times you miss your target. This will help release your inner-tension.
Find another creative outlet where there is no other point than just having fun.
別再胡思亂想了。
花些時間重新連接你的思想、心靈和直覺。最簡單的方法是冥想。
事實(shí)上,沒有人比你自己更在乎你。
不要擔(dān)心太多。只要你不傷害自己、他人和環(huán)境,一切都會很好。
一旦你開始生活,你就會停止過度分析。
當(dāng)一個人過度分析每件事時,他們做的是與生活相反的事。他們在尋找錯誤的原因直到死亡。
這就是你要做的:
玩得高興,向前看。
現(xiàn)在, 你試圖為每一次倒退找借口的想法是對自己不利的。
參加一場水球大戰(zhàn)。無論你有多少次錯過目標(biāo),你都不能在水球比賽中犯錯誤。這將有助于釋放你內(nèi)心的緊張。
尋找另一種創(chuàng)造性的發(fā)泄方式,那里除了玩樂之外別無其他意義。
I’m that kind of person too. Whenever i’m in a group, i always assume that people are talking about me. The one thing I can advise you on this is that you have to be confident about yourself. I think that these things often come up because we alwaus compare ourselves to others. You are yourself. No other person out there is lile you. You are unique. Stop comparing youtself to others.
我也是那種人。每當(dāng)我在一個群體中,我總是認(rèn)為人們在談?wù)撐?。在這方面,我可以給你的一個建議是,你必須對自己有信心。我認(rèn)為這些事情經(jīng)常出現(xiàn),因?yàn)槲覀兛偸前炎约汉蛣e人比較。你是你自己。沒有人能比得上你。你是獨(dú)一無二的。不要和別人比較。
原創(chuàng)翻譯:龍騰網(wǎng) http://www.top-shui.cn 轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處
You are smart to understand and realise the problem by yourself. That's an impressive feat. Giving autonomy to mind to wander freely promotes overthinking.
Do mindfulness meditation by focusing on the present moment and try to empty the mind of all thoughts. Don't allow any thought to enter while meditating.
Overthinking does makes one miserable, feel helpless and hopeless thus leading to depression.
Don't live in the past nor focus on future, concentrate and line within the present now moment. Be mindful aware of your present.
Try to feel things over the concept of overthinking. Thoughts don't always represent the truth, while feelings are more trustworthy and accurate.
Reality is hard to face and everyone wants to distract self away from the harsh reality. People do drugs, play games,etc to evade reality. Reality can't be avoided forever, one day you have to face it. Facing it fair and square eliminates the unhappiness part of it .
你很聰明,能自己認(rèn)識到這個問題。這是一個令人印象深刻的壯舉。讓大腦自由漫步會導(dǎo)致過度思考。
專注于當(dāng)下,做專注冥想,并嘗試清空頭腦中的所有想法。冥想時不要讓任何思想進(jìn)入。
過度思考確實(shí)會使人痛苦,感到無助和絕望,從而導(dǎo)致抑郁。
不要活在過去,也不要關(guān)注未來,集中精力,活在當(dāng)下。把握現(xiàn)在。
試著去感受過度思考的概念。思想并不總是代表真理,而感覺更值得信賴和準(zhǔn)確。
現(xiàn)實(shí)是難以面對的,每個人都想分散自己的注意力,遠(yuǎn)離殘酷的現(xiàn)實(shí)。人們吸毒、玩游戲等來逃避現(xiàn)實(shí)?,F(xiàn)實(shí)無法永遠(yuǎn)回避,總有一天你必須面對它。公正地面對它可以消除它的不快樂部分。
Nothing can be avoided or skipped ,in life one needs to go through life facing all difficulties and odds in life. Never run away from life, yours fears aren't real. Only when you provide energy and focus to your fears,are they bound to grow. Believe and everything is possible until you believe.
Fears become real when they are entertained for sufficient amount of time. You are your life's best judge. It's you alone who has the ability to believe and do anything, but you also are the one who can restraint the freedom and undermine your success in life.
Thoughts need to be regulated, don't entertain thoughts much, act not think. Think less feel more. Thoughts are everything. What you think you become, with your thoughts you shape your reality. Channelise and focus on sextive thoughts and energy. Don't cling to thoughts, emotions, allow them to flow freely without interrupting their flow. It's a way of living,once mastered you can self control your life and achieve whatever you want in life. Listen to what your heart tells you to and also think logically with you mind. Understand what's required off you and never fail to act. Act at all costs. Trust your feelings and slowly and steadily keep moving forward in life.
每一個行動和每一個想法都有它自己的結(jié)果。相信自己,并意識到自己控制著自己的生活。
沒有什么是可以避免或跳過的,在生活中,一個人需要面對生活中的所有困難。永遠(yuǎn)不要逃避生活,你的恐懼不是真實(shí)的。只有當(dāng)你為你的恐懼提供能量和注意力時,它們才會成長。相信,一切皆有可能,直到你相信。
當(dāng)你過度思考恐懼時,恐懼就會變成現(xiàn)實(shí)。你是你生命中最好的裁判。只有你有能力相信和做任何事情,但你也可以限制自由,破壞你人生的成功。
思想需要調(diào)節(jié),不要過多地思考,行動而不是思考。少思考,多感受。 思想就是一切。你想成為什么樣的人,用你的思想塑造你的現(xiàn)實(shí)。引導(dǎo)并專注于選擇性的思想和能量。 不要執(zhí)著于思想、情緒,讓它們自由流動而不中斷它們的流動。 這是一種生活方式,一旦掌握了,你就可以自我控制自己的生活,實(shí)現(xiàn)你想要的生活。傾聽你的內(nèi)心告訴你的,并用你的思維進(jìn)行邏輯思考。 了解你的需求,永遠(yuǎn)不要不采取行動。 不惜一切代價(jià)行動。 相信你的感覺,慢慢地、穩(wěn)步地在生活中繼續(xù)前進(jìn)。
I will try to keep this simple and short. Normally, behind every decision and action we take, there’s a chain of thought, almost nothing happens on the spur of the moment. Now, they say the last thing one can lose is hope, well I say that’s BS. The last thing you can lose is FEAR. Once you stop that fear that’s stoping and dictating every single decision in your life, the only thing that’s left is winning. Why I say this? Well, ask youself: What do you actually and honestly fear of losing by NOT overthinking and overanalysing everything in your life? Because, unless it’s your own life, then there’s absolutly not 1 thing that should stop you from doing anything. Guess what? The most common thing people fear of losing is: people’s approval. What you’ve got to realize is that when people do this, they are basically living their own lives throught everyone else’s eyes. You need to adopt a I-DON’T-GIVE-A-F@K attitude in life if you ever want to live an enjoyable and fun life, because at the end of the day none of those persons you fear will pay your debts, go to work for you or solve any of your problems.
我會盡量保持簡單和簡短。通常,在我們所做的每一個決定和行動背后,都有一系列的想法,幾乎沒有任何事情是一時沖動做出的。現(xiàn)在,他們說一個人最不可能失去的就是希望,我說那是廢話。你最不可能失去的就是恐懼。一旦你停止了那種阻止和支配你生活中每一個決定的恐懼,唯一剩下的就是勝利。我為什么這么說?好吧,問問你自己:如果不過度思考和過度分析生活中的每件事,你到底害怕失去什么?因?yàn)?,除非這是你自己的生活,否則絕對沒有一件事可以阻止你做任何事情。你猜怎么了? 人們最害怕失去的東西是:人們的認(rèn)可。你必須意識到,當(dāng)人們這樣做時,他們基本上是在通過其他人的眼光過自己的生活。如果你想過上愉快而有趣的生活,你需要在生活中采取我不在乎的態(tài)度,因?yàn)樵谝惶旖Y(jié)束時,你擔(dān)心的那些人中沒有一個會償還你的債務(wù),為你工作或解決你的任何問題。
To stop it - get help. Talk to your parents and ask them to help you find a professional or support group. This is not something to be ashamed of. On the opposite, this is exactly the situation when close people are supposed to help you.
Talk to them about how you feel, your studies, gaming, what you want to change and what stands in your way, that you have been struggling with it for some time. Do it for yourself.
You need regular help and discipline to change your habits. If your family will support you I am sure you will succeed.
Lana Astakhova's answer to Why is overthinking bad, and how do you control it?
Good luck!
要阻止它,就去尋求幫助。和你的父母談?wù)?,讓他們幫你找一個專業(yè)人士的或支持小組。這不是什么丟臉的事。相反,這恰恰是親近的人應(yīng)該幫助你的。
和他們談?wù)勀愕母惺埽愕膶W(xué)習(xí),你的游戲,你想要改變的東西以及阻礙你的東西,你已經(jīng)為此苦苦掙扎了一段時間。為了你自己去做吧。
你需要經(jīng)常的幫助和訓(xùn)練來改變你的習(xí)慣。如果你的家人支持你,我相信你會成功的。
這是我對“為什么過度思考是壞事? 你如何控制它?”的回答。
祝你好運(yùn)!
There are soooo many ways to help you.
Writing down your thoughts. We think all the time, it comes and goes like a ghost. Writing helps you observe your thoughts obxtively. Because you can analyze your thoughts and ask yourself why do you think so. It would help you to focus on discovering and solving problems, instead of being controlled by your random thoughts. You can write down anything you think, feel, and focusing on why do you think so and how would you like to make next step.
Meditation or even deep breath. It’s a process of training your mind to redirect your thoughts and calm your mind. Overthinking may lead to anxiety and other emotional problems, but meditation is considered a effective way to reduce stress and develop concentration.
有很多方法可以幫助你。
把你的想法寫下來。我們一直在思考,它像幽靈一樣來來去去。寫下來可以幫助你客觀地觀察自己的想法。因?yàn)槟憧梢苑治鲎约旱南敕ǎ瑔枂栕约簽槭裁催@么想。它會幫助你專注于發(fā)現(xiàn)和解決問題,而不是被你隨意的想法所控制。你可以寫下你的任何想法、感受,并專注于你為什么這么想,以及下一步想做什么。
冥想,甚至深呼吸。這是一個訓(xùn)練你思維的過程,讓你重新定位你的思維,讓你的思維平靜下來。過度思考可能會導(dǎo)致焦慮和其他情緒問題,但冥想被認(rèn)為是減輕壓力和培養(yǎng)注意力的有效方法。
I'm driving myself to insanity with over-thinking, self-analysis, self-doubt, self-loathing, internal misery and zero action. What the heck can I do to completely change my brain and actually enjoy my life?
I’m super-happy for the most part. I believe that it’s largely due to loving others, being loved by others and loving myself (I mean “l(fā)ove” in the verb sense of the word, not the emotional “feelings” sense of the word), and those things are largely due to the choices I’ve made.
A couple weeks ago I went on a motorcycle trip with with three of my friends up to Whistler (BC, Canada). Two of them are self-made millionaires, and the other used to have riches and fame (he was room-mates with Brad Pitt and had regular appearances on TV shows, was a popular D-J, a restaurant owner and a night club owner) but lost everything due to addiction. But he’s still a fun, interesting and cool guy to hang with.
過度思考、自我分析、自我懷疑、自我厭惡、內(nèi)心痛苦和零行動,把我自己逼瘋了。我到底能做些什么來徹底改變我的大腦,真正享受生活呢?
我大部分時間都非常開心。我相信這很大程度上是因?yàn)閻蹌e人、被別人愛和愛自己 (我指的是“愛”這個詞的動詞意義,而不是這個詞的情感意義上的“感覺”), 而那些事情很大程度上是因?yàn)槲宜龅倪x擇。
幾周前,我和三個朋友騎摩托車去了惠斯勒 (加拿大卑詩省)。其中兩人是白手起家的百萬富翁,另一個曾經(jīng)擁有財(cái)富和名望 (他是布拉德·皮特的室友,經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)在電視節(jié)目中,是一個受歡迎的DJ,餐館和夜總會的老板),但由于藥物上癮,他失去了一切。但他仍然是一個有趣、很酷的家伙。
1. Millionaire #1 said something like,
You know Steve, I have everything I want - a downtown penthouse suite, a few nice cars and bikes, I frequently have sexual adventures with super-hot girls, I’m surrounded by “fabulous” people and if I want anything, I just buy it. But I have to say that when I came down your driveway and saw your girl on her unicycle, your wife in the garden and your dog running up to greet me, I was filled with envy.”
I replied something like:
Dude if you had what I have, you’d feel trapped and dissatisfied, and you’d probably ditch it all because my life isn’t glamorous or sexy enough. I’ve been married and monogamous for 24 years and my wife, child and dog have caused me huge amounts of stress and inconvenience, and this family man lifestyle has taken down my “fun, free and cool” factor in a huge way. What I have comes at a big cost and you can’t have it all.
這三個人,在摩旅中的三個不同場合都承認(rèn)他們羨慕我和我的生活。
1. 1號百萬富翁說,
史蒂夫,我有我想要的一切——市中心的頂層套房,幾輛漂亮的汽車和自行車,我經(jīng)常和超級辣妹有性冒險(xiǎn),我周圍都是“極好的”人,如果我想要什么,我就買下它。但我不得不說,當(dāng)我來到你家車道上,看到你的女兒騎著獨(dú)輪車,你的妻子在花園里,你的狗跑過來迎接我時,我充滿了嫉妒。”
我是這樣回答的:
伙計(jì),如果你有我所擁有的,你會感到被困住和不滿,你可能會放棄這一切,因?yàn)槲业纳畈粔蛎匀嘶蛐愿?。我結(jié)婚了,實(shí)行了24年的一夫一妻制,我的妻子、孩子和狗給我?guī)砹司薮蟮膲毫筒槐?,這種顧家男人的生活方式在很大程度上降低了我“有趣、自由和酷”的因素。我付出了很大的代價(jià),你不可能擁有一切。
I make lots of money - in fact I made over a million bucks in just the last few months - I have a huge luxury yacht, a gorgeous wife and a happy and healthy young son. I’m a published author, a public speaker and people look up to me and aspire to be like me. But this is all a game to me. I’m not happy. I’d give everything I own to have what you’ve got.
I replied something like,
Hear this: NOBODY is happy. Everything sucks. Sucks to be married, sucks to be single. Sucks to have to work every day, sucks to be unemployed. Sucks having a room-mate, sucks living alone. Sucks having to raise kids, sucks never having had kids. Sucks to have the pressures and responsibilities of an important and complex life, sucks to have a small insignificant life. It all sucks!
The secret to being satisfied has very little to do with having all the right stuff and right situations because nothing is ever perfect. But it seems to me that it has more to do with choosing the best, noblest, wisest, sometimes most bitter “pill” to swallow, and committing to it, sour as it may be. Plug your nose, tilt your head back and chug that sucker back with a glass of water, then grit your teeth, shake your head, slam the glass on the table and say “aaaaarg!” and smile without complaining about the taste.
You say you want what I have, but my situation isn’t necessarily any better than the next guy’s. What you see in me that you don’t have is the fact that my life isn’t about chasing and catching what I want - it’s about choosing to be a good man and doing the right thing even if it’s at the expense of more pleasurable options. That’s what makes me feel satisfied and like myself.
2. 2號百萬富翁說:
我賺了很多錢——事實(shí)上,就在過去的幾個月里,我賺了一百多萬美元——我有一艘巨大的豪華游艇,一個漂亮的妻子和一個快樂健康的小兒子。我是一名出版作家,一名公眾演講者,人們尊敬我,渴望像我一樣。但這對我來說都是游戲。我不快樂。我愿意付出我的一切來換取你所擁有的。
我回答說,
沒有人是快樂的。一切都糟透了。結(jié)婚很糟糕,單身也很糟糕。每天工作很糟糕,失業(yè)也很糟糕。跟人合租很糟糕,一個人住也很糟糕。要撫養(yǎng)孩子很糟糕,從來沒有孩子也很糟糕。承受著重要而復(fù)雜的生活的壓力和責(zé)任是糟糕的,擁有渺小微不足道的生活是糟糕的。 這一切都糟透了!
滿足的秘訣與擁有所有正確的東西和正確的環(huán)境幾乎沒有關(guān)系,因?yàn)闆]有什么是完美的。 但在我看來,它更多地與選擇最好的、最高貴的、最聰明的,有時是最苦的“藥丸”來吞下,并堅(jiān)持下去,盡管它可能是酸的。 塞住你的鼻子,把頭向后仰,用一杯水把那個玩意向后猛灌,然后咬緊牙關(guān),搖頭,把玻璃杯砸在桌子上,說“??!” 微笑而不抱怨它的味道。
你說你想要我擁有的東西,但我的處境并不一定比其他人好。你在我身上看到的你沒有的事實(shí)是,我的生活不是追求和抓住我想要的東西,而是選擇做一個好人,做正確的事,即使這是以犧牲更快樂的選擇為代價(jià)的。這讓我感到滿足,喜歡自己。
Steve, your life is epic. You’re successfully self employed, you do all kinds of cool things, your wife and kid rock, and you have such a good relationship with them - you’re so lucky!
I replied something like
Luck has nothing to do with it man. I’ve logged way more hours with my daughter than most other fathers have, even when I was busy with work and couldn’t really afford the time spent with her. My daughter had some learning disabilities and some issues which sometimes made parenting difficult but I did what I could to provide her with a good life and loving father.
My wife went through 12 years of mental illness which made my life suck.
We weren’t able to have any more kids. She got fat, she was negative, lazy, and unpleasant to be around. But even if I sometimes secretly wished she’d die and set me free, I would grit my teeth and tell her “I’ll always love you no matter what”, and tried my best to show her love and affection, although I found it hard to conjure up those “feelings”. Running my business demanded a lot of time, but I faithfully set aside every Monday as our “date day”, where we would do something for “just the two of us”. I tried to be patient and forgiving and noble through it all, even if she never expressed gratitude or appreciation for my efforts, and I felt taken for granted.
Starting my own business was HARD work, and while others were playing and carefree with their day jobs making good money, I was slugging out long hard stressful hours with very little money for the first several years. When the economy crashed, I lost everything - my acreage, my storefront, my business. But I started again, this time with more experience and wisdom, and I was able to get back on track.
Luck has nothing to do with my great relationship with my family and my reasonably successful business. If you had what I had to work with years ago, you would have selfishly sabotaged everything early on and wouldn’t have what I have now.
3.“事業(yè)完蛋的酷家伙”是這樣說的:
史蒂夫,你的人生太精彩了。你成功地自主創(chuàng)業(yè),你做了各種很酷的事情,你的妻子和孩子很穩(wěn)定,你和他們的關(guān)系很好——你真幸運(yùn)!
我回答說:
這跟運(yùn)氣一點(diǎn)關(guān)系都沒有。我和女兒在一起的時間比大多數(shù)父親都要長,即使我工作很忙,實(shí)在抽不出時間陪她。我的女兒有一些學(xué)習(xí)障礙和一些問題,有時這使養(yǎng)育孩子變得困難,但我盡我所能給她一個良好的生活和當(dāng)一名充滿愛的父親。
我妻子經(jīng)歷了12年的精神疾病,這讓我的生活很糟糕。
我們不能再要孩子了。她變得肥胖,消極,懶惰,不喜歡周圍的人。但即使有時我偷偷地希望她死后能讓我自由,我也會咬緊牙關(guān)告訴她“無論發(fā)生什么我都會永遠(yuǎn)愛你”,并盡我所能地表達(dá)對她的愛和感情,盡管我很難想象那些“感覺”。經(jīng)營我的生意需要大量的時間,但我忠實(shí)地把每周一作為我們的“約會日”,我們會做一些“只有我們兩個人”的事情。盡管她從未對我的努力表示過感激或贊賞,但我還是試著保持耐心、寬容和高尚,而我覺得這是理所當(dāng)然的。
創(chuàng)業(yè)是一項(xiàng)艱苦的工作,當(dāng)其他人在悠閑地享受著賺錢的日常工作時,我卻在頭幾年拿著很少的錢,艱難地度過漫長而有壓力的時光。當(dāng)經(jīng)濟(jì)崩潰時,我失去了一切——我的土地,我的店面,我的生意。但我重新開始了,這一次我有了更多的經(jīng)驗(yàn)和智慧,我能夠回到正軌。
運(yùn)氣與我與家人的良好關(guān)系和我相當(dāng)成功的事業(yè)無關(guān)。如果你擁有我多年前所擁有的東西,你早就自私地破壞了一切,也就不會擁有我現(xiàn)在擁有的東西了。
I have a sweet, fun and sexy wife and super-fun daughter who both love and respect me, my friends and family love and respect me, I love and respect myself. I have good friends and do lots of fun and interesting things on a regular basis and yes, my life kind of rocks. I can see how people would want what I have. I wouldn’t trade places with anyone I know.
But my hot tub business (Hot Tubs Galore) still creates stress and busyness, my wife’s still not 100% “well” (some days she’s very difficult to deal with), and my daughter is still a source of concern and worry on an ongoing basis. My beloved dog is old and likely to die soon and my wife and I are starting to feel our age and we both have some health issues.
I “carry” quite a few people in my life (both financially and emotionally) because I have those resources that they need, so I often feel drained and sometime feel “used” and under-appreciated. I give a lot and care a lot - often more than I feel comfortable with, and frankly I don’t feel I’m getting the same back from others. They’ll probably say nice things about me at my funeral, but it would sure be nice to get some acknowledgement while I’m still alive! But I suppose it’s the burden of being a person of substance.
快進(jìn)到今天:
我有一個可愛、有趣、性感的妻子和超級有趣的女兒,她們愛我、尊重我,我的朋友和家人也愛我、尊重我,我愛自己也尊重自己。我有好朋友,定期做很多有趣的事情,是的,我的生活就像石頭一樣。我知道人們會想要我擁有的東西。我不會和任何我認(rèn)識的人交換位置。
但是我的浴缸生意仍然造成了壓力和忙碌,我的妻子仍然不是100%的“好”(有時她很難處理),我女兒仍然是持續(xù)擔(dān)憂的來源。我心愛的狗老了,可能很快就會死去,我和妻子也開始覺得自己老了,而且我們都有一些健康問題。
我在生活中“照顧”了不少人(包括經(jīng)濟(jì)上和情感上),因?yàn)槲覔碛兴麄冃枰馁Y源,所以我經(jīng)常感到筋疲力盡,有時感覺自己被“利用”了,不被重視。我給予了很多,也關(guān)心了很多——往往比我感到舒服的多,坦白地說,我不覺得我從別人那里得到了同樣的回報(bào)。他們可能會在我的葬禮上說我的好話,但如果能在我還活著的時候得到一些認(rèn)可,那就太好了! 但我想這是作為一個有錢人的負(fù)擔(dān)。
He said, “I respect your convictions but at the end of the day, I believe that we are only responsible for one person’s happiness in this life, and that’s our own. The bottom line is you have to look out for number one - you can’t live to please other people.”
I looked at him and thought (I didn’t say it out loud), “you’re in your 60′s, you’re working for me, you’re missing a front tooth that you can’t afford to fix, you’re separated from your third wife, living alone in a trailer, your daughter’s getting married this weekend and you’re not invited, and you’re sad and lonely. As Dr. Phil would say, ‘So how’s that working for you?’ Meanwhile, my life is great and in spite of my feeling restless at times, I don’t know anyone more genuinely happy than myself.”
I realize that mental illness, clinical depression, personality disorders and genetic predisposition to be unhappy can seriously affect a person’s ability to be happy and feel satisfied, but generally speaking, I personally think that in “normal” situations, the way to a good and satisfying life is to stop chasing the things you want (pleasure, success, money, sexual adventure, prestige) and focus on being a good person and doing the right things, even if it costs you those things that you want. You can’t buy or catch or achieve joy, fulfillment, love and satisfaction - those things will find you and embrace you while you nobly live a “good” life in an intentional way.
4.另一個例子:去年,我和一個為我工作的人交談,告訴他我有多少次和我的小女兒一起玩我的手和膝蓋,而那是我最不想做的事情,以及在一些特別困難的時期,我對妻子的承諾只有“誓言”,因?yàn)橛袝r對我來說沒有任何意義。
他說:“我尊重你的信念,但歸根結(jié)底,我相信我們只對一個人的幸福負(fù)責(zé),這就是我們自己的幸福。底線是你必須先為自己著想——你不能為了取悅他人而活著?!?br /> 我看著他,心想(我沒有大聲說出來), “你60多歲了,你在為我工作,你缺了一顆無法修復(fù)的門牙,你和第三任妻子分居,獨(dú)自住在拖車?yán)?,你女兒本周末要結(jié)婚,你沒有被邀請,你感到悲傷和孤獨(dú)。正如菲爾醫(yī)生所說,‘那你覺得怎么樣?’與此同時,我的生活很美好,盡管我有這種感覺我有時會坐立不安,我不知道還有誰比我自己更幸福?!?br /> 我意識到精神疾病、臨床抑郁癥、人格障礙和不快樂的遺傳傾向會嚴(yán)重影響一個人快樂和感到滿足的能力,但一般來說,我個人認(rèn)為在“正?!鼻闆r下,獲得美好和滿足的生活的方法是停止追逐你想要的東西(快樂、成功、金錢、性冒險(xiǎn)、聲望),專注于做一個好人和做正確的事情,即使這會讓你失去你想要的東西。你無法購買、獲得或獲得快樂、滿足、愛和滿足——這些東西會找到你并擁抱你,同時你會有意識地過上“美好”的生活。
How do you stop yourself from over analyzing and over thinking conversations, situations and things that happened to you in the past?
Just slowing the mind down with some basic meditation can help a lot. In my experience it doesn’t, in itself, heal the trauma.
Meditation is rarely the panacea it is often held to be.
Counselling and understanding dysfunction is another route. There are many others.
Your journey is your own. Nobody else can tell you what you need. They can give you ideas and tools and methods but it’s ultimately down to you to find your way. Most routes seem quite wiggley when looked back upon. We’re all different.
你如何阻止自己過度分析和思考過去發(fā)生在你身上的對話、情況和事情?
僅僅通過一些基本的冥想讓大腦慢下來就會有很大的幫助。根據(jù)我的經(jīng)驗(yàn),它本身并不能治愈創(chuàng)傷。
冥想并不是人們通常認(rèn)為的萬能藥。
咨詢和理解功能障礙是另一種途徑。還有很多其他的方法。
你的旅程屬于你自己。沒有人能告訴你你需要什么。他們可以給你想法、工具和方法,但最終要靠你自己找到自己的路?;仡欉^去,大多數(shù)路線似乎都很曲折。我們都不一樣。