已婚人士們有什么希望未婚人士知道的？
Married people of reddit, What something you wish unmarried people knew?
譯文簡介
謹(jǐn)慎結(jié)婚，認(rèn)真結(jié)婚
正文翻譯
Married people of reddit, What something you wish unmarried people knew?
已婚人士們有什么希望未婚人士知道的？
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Being married shouldn’t take away from having a good relationship with yourself.
結(jié)婚不應(yīng)該意味著你將要失去和自己的良好關(guān)系。
My wife's uncle officiated for us, as he has for other family members and friends. Before the ceremony he told us his "theory of love and marriage". He said many, if not most people look at marriage as two becoming one, but that's not accurate, healthy, or stable over any length of time. He said it's not two becoming one, it's two becoming three; there's each of us as separate individuals, and then us together as it's own creation. Each of those three needs love and care and attention.
我們的證婚人是我老婆的叔叔，他之前也給其他的家庭成員和朋友們證過婚。在結(jié)婚典禮開始之前，他就跟我們講了他的“愛情與婚姻的理論”。他說過，有很多人，甚至絕大多數(shù)的人都把婚姻當(dāng)成是兩個人變成一個整體的過程，但這實際上是不準(zhǔn)確的，不健康的，也是不論多久也會不穩(wěn)定的。他說這不是兩個人變成一個整體的過程，而是兩個人變成三個人的過程，除了我們彼此作為獨立的個體之外，我們加起來會額外變成一個人，那是婚姻的造物。這三個人，每一個都需要愛，需要關(guān)懷，需要注意。
我發(fā)現(xiàn)這是一個無比有幫助，健康，帶來希望的建議。
In fact I'd argue it's highly important to make sure you take care of yourself because your personal difficulties are now felt by your spouse as well, especially if you can't attack the issue head on. It's okay to tell your spouse you need something for yourself.
事實上我想說的是，你一定要確保能夠好好照顧好自己，因為現(xiàn)在你個人的困難也同樣會被你的伴侶感受到，尤其是在你沒辦法正面應(yīng)對問題的情況下。就算跟你的伴侶講，你需要給自己一點時間，也是沒問題的。
Being married showed me why I should like me, too.
結(jié)婚告訴了我我應(yīng)該也喜歡我自己。
It’s okay to use two blankets. No one likes to wake up with cold ass cheeks because your spouse stole the blanket.
蓋兩張被子沒什么的。沒人喜歡醒來的時候屁股蛋子凍得梆硬，因為你愛人把被子給偷走了。
This was a game changer for us! We're both cold creatures but we both also like our space in bed. We'll cuddle for a few minutes then separate to our respective sides of the bed to actually sleep. We each have our own duvet and it works out perfectly!
這對我們來說簡直是改變?nèi)松拇笞兓∥覀儍蓚€人體溫都很涼，但是我們也都喜歡在床上擁有自己的空間。所以我們會相互擁抱一陣子，然后再回到自己那邊的被子里，準(zhǔn)備睡覺。我們各蓋各的，但結(jié)果非常完美！
I heat up so quickly; my wife describes me as a 'furnace'. I want that physical contact at the end of the day, but there's no way I could fall sleep spooning her.
我會很快就變得很熱乎，我老婆說我像個“小爐子”。我雖然想在一天結(jié)束的時候和另一半來點親密接觸，但是我根本沒辦法一邊摟著她一邊睡覺。
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I usually end up sticking one leg outside of the blanket to act as a radiator while spooning. Sometimes I expose some of my back too.
我通常在側(cè)身摟著對方的時候會把一根腿支棱出被子去，這樣就可以散熱了。有時候我也會把后背露出來。
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I call my wife the furnace because she runs hot, and doesnt mind. She wants to cuddle but I will begin to literally sweat.
我管我老婆叫小爐子，因為她特別燙，并且她意識不到。她想要跟我親昵一下，但是我會開始流汗。
i wish my wife liked her own space in bed, i woke up the other night and she was sleeping on top of me..literally no part of her body was on the mattress, it was all on me....i had to yeet her across the bed just so i could breath
我真希望我老婆能夠好好睡在自己的床那半邊，我有一天晚上醒來之后發(fā)現(xiàn)她睡在我頂上……真的，她渾身上下沒有一處在床墊子上，全在我身上……我得把她挪到床那頭去，然后我才能呼吸。
On a related note: spouses don't actually have to sleep in the same bed or even the same room. I snore and my wife is a major bed hog. I usually get up far earlier than she does. We sleep in separate rooms and are both very happy with the arrangement.
說一句相關(guān)的：夫妻其實不一定非要睡在同一張床，甚至同一個房間里。我會打呼嚕，而我老婆特別喜歡睡覺。我通常會起得比她早很多。我們分房間睡，并且這么安排我們兩個都很開心。
My parents have had separate bedrooms for about 12 years now. They have completely different sleeping schedules, interest in shows, as well as sleeping habits (my mom and I sleep in the dark, my dad with the ligha on). Plus my dad snores pretty loudly.
我父母已經(jīng)分房間睡了差不多12年了。他們無論是睡眠規(guī)律，對電視節(jié)目的喜好還是睡眠習(xí)慣（我媽和我喜歡關(guān)燈睡，我爸喜歡開燈睡）。而且我爸打呼嚕特別響。
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但是他們早晨聊，下午聊，周末也聊，想聊就聊。有時他們會聊好幾個小時，有時不會。
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他們的婚姻是我所有近親和遠房親戚里最健康的婚姻。
Your single problems will be your married problems. Marriage and your spouse can't fix you. Work on yourself as much as you can before you get married. For yourself and for your spouse.
你單身時的問題會變成你婚后的問題?；橐龊桶閭H是不可能把你給修好的。所以在結(jié)婚之前自己趕緊把自己弄明白。不只是為了你自己，也是為了你的伴侶。
Getting married WILL NOT help solve any issues in your relationship...
結(jié)婚這件事本身不會解決你關(guān)系里的任何問題……
On the contrary, it is more or less guaranteed to make any problems you currently have worse.
恰恰相反，結(jié)婚這件事多少會讓你現(xiàn)存的問題變得更嚴(yán)重。
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Totally agree with this and the same with the kids point too. I’ve always thought marriage adds extra pressure in the legal confirmation of you being together and the vows you make to one another.
完全同意這一點，并且生孩子也是一樣的。我一直覺得婚姻除了法律上的結(jié)合和誓約的結(jié)合之外，還會給你帶來額外的壓力。
而孩子則會給你帶來甚至更多的壓力，你沒有額外的時間奉獻給另一半，所以你們的這段關(guān)系中之前本就存在的所有裂痕都會變成根本無法修復(fù)的裂谷。然而，如果這段婚姻本來在生孩子之前就岌岌可危的話，那我覺得孩子生下來之后你們也不會變好。
Pretty well written, my wife and I had minor problems that could all be managed by just chatting and hanging out together. We made each other happy enough just by being together that the minor stuff wouldn't even be an issue, so when we had a kid (which has been largely awesome) and our time together got turned into time for our daughter, we started to fight a lot more. Make time for mom and dad dates without the kid(s) for the good of you both, you need some time to just hangout and love each other.
寫得非常不錯，我和我老婆之前有過一些小問題，本來只要聊聊天，一起出去玩一玩就可以解決的。我們因為只需要在一起就可以讓彼此很開心，所以那些小問題之前都沒被我們當(dāng)成什么問題。但是當(dāng)我們生孩子之后（雖然總地來說是非常不錯的體驗），我們在一起的時間就變成了一起照顧女兒的時間，因此我們打架就會變得更頻繁了。所以一定要為不用帶孩子的爸爸媽媽約會分出一點時間來，這對你們兩個都好，你需要一點時間來一起出去走走，來熱愛彼此。
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Same with having kids
生孩子也是一樣的。
Onion article title that always made me laugh:
洋蔥新聞有一篇文章總是能讓我笑出來：
“自閉癥孩子毀掉了一段他生來就要拯救的婚姻。”
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The wedding is just one day and does not fix any issues. It goes back to the exact same relationship afterwards. And if you're lucky, that's a good thing.
婚禮只是一天而已，婚禮不會解決任何問題。之前是什么關(guān)系，之后你們還是什么關(guān)系。而且如果你們足夠幸運，那這其實算是一件好事。
Yes, people always told me not to get married bc it changes your whole relationship. But it changed nothing for my husband and I. Just got some really good pics together and that’s about it, lol.
沒錯，人們總是跟我說你不要結(jié)婚，因為結(jié)婚會改變你們之間的關(guān)系，但實際上對我和我丈夫來說根本就沒有改變。只是一起照了點好照片而已，差不多就沒別的了。哈哈哈。
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We got the "Everything changes after you get married!" stuff too. But it didn't change for us or our relationship.
我們也遇到過“你只要結(jié)婚，一切就都變啦”這種話。但是實際上無論是我們本人還是我們的關(guān)系，都沒有變。
實際上變了的是其他所有人對待我們的方式，因為我們現(xiàn)在是一個傳統(tǒng)的社交單位了，所以所有人都可以開始用刻板印象（“你老婆讓嗎？！”“把你給拴住了呀！”）然后開始問一些跟他們一點關(guān)系都沒有的問題（“你什么時候才打算給他生個孩子？”“你們一家人不能沒孩子呀”），然后表現(xiàn)的就像人生是個情節(jié)刻板的情景喜劇一樣（“你不用回家給你丈夫做飯嗎？”“什么，你丈夫做飯？你怎么把他教訓(xùn)出來的？！”）說實話人們現(xiàn)在跟我說的就只剩下結(jié)婚，生孩子，和結(jié)婚生孩子了。根本沒人問我我做什么，所有人都在問我我丈夫做的是什么。
Yes and to go further with that: BABIES DON'T FIX RELATIONSHIPS! If you were struggling before then a baby is going to make those struggles even harder. Babies make fantastic relationships harder! Don't have a baby if you're having problems! Don't have a baby to "fix" things! Don't have a baby to try to keep your spouse from leaving! IT WONT WORK
沒錯，而且讓我再延伸一點：生孩子是不會修復(fù)感情問題的！如果你們在生孩子之前就過不下去了，那生個孩子只會讓你們更過不下去。就算是本來就很棒的一段關(guān)系，也會被孩子給弄糟的！你們要是有摩擦，就別要孩子！別指望孩子能解決你們的問題！別指望孩子能把你的伴侶拴住不讓他離開！不管用！
"Hey, our relationship is hitting the rocks and we're both really stressed out about it which is making it even worse. You know what would fix this? Doing the most stressful thing to our lives we could possibly do in a deacdes long commitment we can't escape from!"
“嘿，我們的關(guān)系已經(jīng)觸底了，并且我們對此都感到壓力山大，所以情況更復(fù)雜了。你知道什么能解決這件事嗎？當(dāng)然是去對我們來說壓力最大的那件事，就是幾十年如一日的漫長投入，而且我們誰都逃脫不了的那種！”
And better yet, let's do it while we're sleep-deprived for a few years! Yee-haw!!
而且更棒的是，我們可以為此缺好幾年的覺！太牛逼啦！
This was what I wanted to say. The problems that existed before getting married will be there after the reception. Marriage doesn’t (and shouldn’t) change anything about your relationship.
我本來就想說這個。之前就存在的問題，在結(jié)婚之后仍舊會存在?；橐霾粫ㄒ膊粦?yīng)該）改變你們的關(guān)系。
我有過一個朋友，她14歲開始的人生目標(biāo)就是“長大，結(jié)婚，生孩子。”這一點從來都沒變過。于是她長大了，跟頭一個她能用威嚇來使之與自己訂婚的男人結(jié)婚了，然后互相認(rèn)識之后不到兩年就結(jié)婚了。我在婚禮之后幾天去看她，半開玩笑地問“婚后生活怎么樣??？”
我永遠也不會忘記她回答時聲音里的那種困惑：“就好像只是在一起過日子一樣。我以為會有什么不一樣的地方?！?/b>
Yes! I got married about a year ago (on Halloween, actually) and ever since, a lot of people will ask "how's married life?" I always feel a little strange saying "pretty much the same as unmarried life" but it's true! We had lived together for about 5 years and dated for 8ish, so the only thing that changed is our taxes.
沒錯！我大概一年前（事實上正好是萬圣節(jié)）結(jié)婚了，此后有特別多的人都在問我“婚后生活怎么樣??？”我總是覺得說“基本上跟沒結(jié)婚之前沒什么區(qū)別”好像不太對勁，但實際上確實如此！我們已經(jīng)在一起生活了五年，交往了差不多八年，所以唯一改變的好像也只有我們要交的稅。
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As someone who's getting married in 3 days after being with the person for more than 8 years, this answer makes me smile. One of our celebrant's questions was "how will your life look like after you get married" and my instant response was "hopefully, exactly how it is now", which I know might be a rather naive sentiment, as we're getting older and are bound to experience some major life changes eventually, but I could not be happier with how we are now
作為一個在與和自己交往了八年多的人剛結(jié)婚三天的人，這個回答讓我笑了出來。我們的司儀在問我們問題的時候，其中一個問題就是“你在結(jié)婚之后，人生會變成什么樣子”，我當(dāng)時的回答就是“希望就是和現(xiàn)在一模一樣”，我知道這句可能多少有點天真，因為我們總是會老的，總是會經(jīng)歷一些重大人生變化的，但是現(xiàn)在這個樣子我已經(jīng)開心得不能再開心了。
Audry Hepburn is quoted as saying "Success is like reaching an birthday and realizing you're exactly the same."
奧黛麗·赫本曾經(jīng)說過，“成功就好像是過生日的時候發(fā)現(xiàn)自己跟去年一樣?！?/b>
我在遇到任何里程碑式的時刻的時候，都會想起這句話。
A gracious heartfelt apology goes a long way.
一句發(fā)自內(nèi)心的，充滿感激的道歉，是非常非常有用的。
Adding on to this… Make sure to be accepting of heartfelt apologies as well.
除此之外……一定要確定你也要接受這種發(fā)自內(nèi)心的道歉。
記仇在一段關(guān)系中永遠沒有好處。學(xué)會原諒你的伴侶，尤其是當(dāng)他們決定道歉，決定試著讓自己變得更好的時候。
Adding more to that… when someone admits they’re wrong, do NOT rub it in their face! Thats exactly why no one will admit they’re wrong. Pride destroys everything
此外還有一點……當(dāng)有人承認(rèn)自己錯了的時候，千萬不要當(dāng)面再損他！這正就是沒人愿意承認(rèn)自己錯了的原因。傲慢會毀掉一切的。
Yes, and it's OK to admit you are wrong. Because we are ALL wrong sometimes. Being pigheaded and stubborn doesn't accomplish anything.
沒錯，而且承認(rèn)自己錯了也沒有任何問題。因為我們總是都會犯錯誤的。當(dāng)個固執(zhí)的豬頭不會給你帶來任何成就。
You don't have to argue or "fight". You're different people and it's OK to not agree on everything. It would be weird if you did!
你不一定非得爭論或者“吵架”。你們是不一樣的人，所以彼此互相不同意也沒有任何問題。要是都互相同意，那反而太怪啦！
我看到有很多人都在“爭吵”，因為他們希望對方能夠接受并且認(rèn)同他們的觀點。不如承認(rèn)你們彼此不同，并且一起找點樂子。因為除了互相愛戀之外，你們也應(yīng)該互相喜歡。
Ideally, you don't fight each other- you negotiate and discuss. You fight together on problems.
在理想的情況下，你們不應(yīng)該互相爭吵——你們應(yīng)該協(xié)商、應(yīng)該討論。你們應(yīng)該共同去與問題斗爭。
As an unmarried person, 100% agree. I’ve had a lot of people say stuff like “if you don’t fight and argue, it’s not a real relationship because you won’t always agree.” Like babe, let’s address why you think that disagreeing with your partner must always result in an argument. I get that sometimes people are frustrated and lose their cool but from my point of view, you have to recognise when that’s happening because your partner doesn’t deserve to be berated or yelled at just because you can’t manage your emotions.
作為一個沒結(jié)婚的人，我100%贊同這句話，我之前聽過有很多人說“如果你不吵架，你就不是在真正的和別人處對象，因為你們不可能永遠互相認(rèn)同”。但是兄弟，有沒有一種可能，跟你的伴侶發(fā)生分歧不一定就意味著跟你的伴侶吵一架呢？我知道有時候人們會生氣，會失去控制，但是從我的角度來看，當(dāng)這種事情發(fā)生的時候你得意識到這一點，因為你的伴侶又不是活該在你控制不住自己情緒的時候被你喊來喊去。
I'm the person who gets mad and then steps back to figure out why I'm mad.
我就是那個經(jīng)常生氣，但是會退后一步想明白自己為什么生氣的人。
我丈夫每天都會把我惹急眼好幾次。但是他從來都意識不到，因為把我惹急眼的這些事情都很傻逼。他因為沒把東西放到我覺得應(yīng)該放的位置，讓我生氣了。這是吵架的原因嗎？說實話，如果你天天都把牛奶放在櫥柜上，那可能沒問題（當(dāng)然我們倆絕對不是這種情況），但是把蛋黃醬放到碗櫥上而不是放回冰箱里，這又不是錯事，因為它放那本來也沒問題。
所以你可以冷靜下來，然后跟他聊一聊，而不用非得吵起來。
Compromise is not a sign of weakness. It is done out of respect for your spouse.
妥協(xié)不是示弱。妥協(xié)是尊重你的伴侶。
Also, not everything requires compromise. Sometimes the answer is, you both do your own thing separately. Think about what the impact a decision has on you and your partner before going immediately into negotiations.
而且不是所有事情都需要妥協(xié)，有時正確的答案是，你們兩個各自都去做自己該做的事情。在立刻互相協(xié)商之前，先想想看這個決策對你和你的伴侶各自都有什么樣的影響。
People forget, that you can try one thing THEN the other later. A lot of choices in life aren't mutually exclusive.
人們會忘記，你可以先嘗試一件事，然后晚些時候再嘗試另一件事。人生中的很多選擇并不是互斥的。
Yeah, my wife is very approval-seeking but for reversible decisions with a low impact I struggle not to just say, "I don't care, do what you feel". One of the ways she needs respect in the relationship is to feel like the things she brings to me aren't frivolous and unimportant so I've become really good at asking her what she thinks and then saying "that sounds good to me" without sounding dismissive. All part of the service.
沒錯，我老婆就非常希望得到他人的認(rèn)可，但是對于那些本來就兩個都行，而且結(jié)果也沒什么影響的選擇來說，我很難不只說一句“可以啊，你怎么辦都行”。她在感情關(guān)系之中得到尊重的其中一種方式，就是希望覺得自己向我提出的那些問題不是雞毛蒜皮、無關(guān)緊要的。所以我現(xiàn)在就非常擅長問她一句她怎么看，然后再用聽起來不那么疏離的預(yù)期說一句“我覺得可以”。都是服務(wù)的一部分。
I’m very similar to your wife. I always need to get validation from one important party I respect (usually my dad) or multiple parties because I often second-guess myself. It’s definitely a trauma response and I know that, but it still helps in most situations, even the more minor ones, to get a different, more obxtive viewpoint.
我和你老婆很像。我也總是需要從重要的、我尊敬的一個或多個方面（通常是我老爸）得到認(rèn)可，因為我經(jīng)常會懷疑自己。他們的回應(yīng)絕對會很傷我的心，我也知道這一點，但是他們的意見仍舊能夠在絕大多數(shù)情況下幫到我，即便是那些無關(guān)緊要的問題。我能夠因此獲得不同的、更客觀的視角。
聽起來你處理得不錯，我要為你對你老婆的需求和人格十分敏感而表揚你的做法。
Someone told me that, when a problem comes up, think of it as 'we as a couple are collaborating on a solution ' rather than ' one of us will have to compromise', which makes it feel combative.
有人跟我說過，當(dāng)問題出現(xiàn)的時候，你應(yīng)該的想法是“我們夫婦要合作拿出一個解決方案”，而不是“我們總得有一個人要妥協(xié)”，后者會更有火藥味兒。
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當(dāng)然了，最終的結(jié)果可能確實是你們中有一個人需要妥協(xié)，但視角的不同也會讓交談的過程變得不同。
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Common values matter way more than common interests.
共同價值觀比共同利益重要的多。
This is a really great way to say this. Just think of any interest you have, you attained that interest over time. You and your partner will each take on some of the others interests over time, and some will stay your own, and you'll find others ath the intersection of your interest neither of you might have tried alone.
這真的說得非常好。只要想想你之前有過的興趣，不論是什么，你都是慢慢獲得的。你和你的伴侶每個人都會慢慢理解對方的興趣，并且其中的一些會變成你自己的興趣。你也會發(fā)現(xiàn)你們兩個的興趣交叉點，嘗試一些之前從未一起嘗試過的東西。
Yes! My husband is big into video games, but I didn't play much before him. He has introduced me to a few that I LOVE. I really enjoy asking him about his games and what he's playing now and hearing him talk about all the wacky stuff they do and what's fun about it (or not fun about it). And sometimes, I hear about a game that sounds fun to me, too, and I try it out.
沒錯！我老公特別喜歡電子游戲，但是我在認(rèn)識他之前沒怎么玩過。他給我介紹了一些我特別喜歡的。我也很喜歡向他了解他的游戲，他正在玩的游戲是什么，聽他聊游戲里他們做的各種瘋狂的事情，以及哪里好玩（還有哪里不好玩）。有時我會覺得某個游戲聽起來對我來說也挺有意思的，我就會試試。
我特別喜歡運動，但他從來都沒對運動有過很大的興趣。我向他介紹了橄欖球，跟他講了一下為什么這是個特別鉆牛角尖的運動，看起來為什么特別有意思。然后是棒球（謝謝你啊，疫情?。，F(xiàn)在我們既會一起看比賽，也會一起打游戲。但我們剛認(rèn)識的時候，彼此之間沒有一樣是共同的。但是我們的思維過程是類似的，我們喜歡上一些東西的理由也是類似的。所以只要一介紹，我們就會有共同的立場。
It’s not you vs spouse. It’s you and spouse vs problem.
不是你VS你愛人。而是你和你愛人VS問題。
That not teaming up thing is often the root cause of divorce.
無法團結(jié)起來，通常都是離婚的根源。
Exactly what I told my ex, we stopped being a team and everything went downhill.
我跟我老婆就是這么說的，我們沒辦法作為一個團隊繼續(xù)下去了，此后的一切就都在走下坡路。
Getting married is easy. Staying married is hard. Get help if things seem too hard. My wife and I both carried a lot of childhood trauma into our marriage. A councilor helped is both understand that and gave us tools to handle it. We're would have divorced without the help.
結(jié)婚簡單。保持婚姻很難。如果實在太難，那就尋求幫助。我和我老婆都把一些童年時的傷痛帶進了婚姻。但是有一個調(diào)節(jié)者理解我們，并且給了我們應(yīng)對問題的工具。如果沒有他的幫助，我們就離婚了。
It’s better to stay single forever than to marry the wrong person
寧愿一輩子單身，也不要娶錯人。
We had a pastor at a church that used to ask, "Whats going to happen when you get married and THEN you meet 'the one'?"
我們教堂有個牧師以前喜歡問，“要是你先結(jié)婚了，然后才遇到那個對的人，你要怎么辦？”
Spending time with my wife is neither a burden or a chore. She was my best friend before we even started dating, of course i enjoy hanging out with her.
和我老婆一起花點時間，既不是什么負(fù)擔(dān)也不是什么勞累的事情。她早在我們開始處對象之前就是我最好的朋友了，我當(dāng)然喜歡跟她一起出去。
Dude, yes! I wouldn't have married my husband if I didn't enjoy spending time with him, wtf. Hate when my coworkers sit around shit-talking their spouses and I'm just there like...cool, y'all sound toxic, I actually like my husband and look forward to chilling with him every day.
兄弟，太對啦！我要是不喜歡和我老公在一起，我也不會嫁給他，草了。我真不喜歡同事們坐在一圈說自己愛人閑話的樣子，我就覺得你們都有毒，我可喜歡我老公了，我每天都想跟他待在一起。
Covid really brought this to the forefront and shined a spotlight on a lot of people’s relationships. During the height of it all when things were locked down, I would say to my wife at least one a week “I’m so glad we like each other”. I’m not saying it was easy by any means, but definitely easier doing it with someone you enjoy being around, and I was shocked to see how many couples that wasn’t the case.
新冠真的把這一切帶到了臺前，并且照亮了很多人的關(guān)系。在封城最嚴(yán)重的時候，我會至少一星期和我老婆說一次“我真慶幸我們喜歡彼此”。說這句話一點也不容易，但如果是對你喜歡的人說的話顯然要容易得多。并且我們都很驚訝，有很多對夫妻不會這么做。
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Saying “l(fā)et me ask my wife” doesn’t mean I’m asking permission. We’re a team, we make decisions together. Also, if it’s about going to or doing something, I’m really forgetful and want to make sure we haven’t already made plans.
我說“讓我問問我老婆”，意思不是我需要征求許可。我們是個團隊，我們要一起做出決策。此外，如果是要一起去哪里，或者一起做什么事情的話，我特別健忘，所以我得確認(rèn)一下我們是不是已經(jīng)做過計劃了。
Yes! Me talking to my husband about plans doesn't mean he's controlling or that I can't do what I want; I'm just trying to make sure I didn't forget we're doing something that night, and I'm also not about to commit him to plans without actually seeing if he's into them first.
沒錯！我跟我老公討論一下計劃，也并不意味著他控制我了或者我什么都做不了。我只是想確保我是不是忘了本來那天晚上要做什么，我也不想在不知道他喜不喜歡的前提下，就提前保證他會一起來。