國外QA問答：突然發(fā)現(xiàn)我的妻子，曾經(jīng)是個男人，我該怎么辦？
I just found out my wife was born a man, what should I do?
譯文簡介
兄弟，
我以前被騙過，大約50美元。我坦白，我是個白癡。
但是你這個？
這遠遠超出了我當初被騙的情況。就算我被騙了100萬美元，也沒有這么糟糕啊。
你需要問的問題是：對于這件事情，你與你妻子之間為何沒有坦誠的交談過？
你沒有看到過她的身份證嗎？
她從來就沒有告訴過你小時候的事情嗎？
她從來沒有給你看過她的童年照片嗎？這是每對夫婦都會做的啊。
你從來沒有和她父母談過嗎？
你做過這些嗎？
哦，拜托，這不是一個適合作為惡作劇的問題，這是一個比你被騙了100萬還要糟糕的問題。
正文翻譯
I just found out my wife was born a man, what should I do?
突然發(fā)現(xiàn)我的妻子，曾經(jīng)是個男人，我該怎么辦？
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Dude.
I’ve been cheated before, to the tune of $50. I will come clean, I was an idiot.
But this?
This is way more than my pay grade to be empathetic to. Even if I got cheated $1 million, it still won’t be as bad as this.
The question you need to ask is, how did you not have an honest conversation about your wife being a transgender woman?
Did you never see her ID fall out?
Did she NEVER tell you anything about her time as a boy?
Did she NEVER show you her childhood pictures, which is something every couple sees?
Did you NEVER talk to her parents?
Did you?
Oh come on, this is either a troll question or you’re incredibly… worse than someone who gets cheated $1 million.
兄弟，
我以前被騙過，大約50美元。我坦白，我是個白癡。
但是你這個？
這遠遠超出了我當初被騙的情況。就算我被騙了100萬美元，也沒有這么糟糕啊。
你需要問的問題是：對于這件事情，你與你妻子之間為何沒有坦誠的交談過？
你沒有看到過她的身份證嗎？
她從來就沒有告訴過你小時候的事情嗎？
她從來沒有給你看過她的童年照片嗎？這是每對夫婦都會做的啊。
你從來沒有和她父母談過嗎？
你做過這些嗎？
哦，拜托，這不是一個適合作為惡作劇的問題，這是一個比你被騙了100萬還要糟糕的問題。
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Too bad you two did not bother to have an open and honest discussion about this before you married. I cannot imagine a trans person not being honest about their limitations, such as being able to produce a biological child. That is a very big and important issue in making a family.
Your marriage was doomed from the start if you two were not able to be honest with each other. You should not have married someone you could not be open with. She should not have married you while keeping such an important issue secret.
No one should say that you should not marry or should not have married a transgender person, but you should not marry someone you cannot be honest and open with, and who would not be honest and open with you.
I strongly suspect that this is a troll question. Transgender surgery is the last step of a years long process of counseling therapy and transformation. Being honest with potential romantic partners is usually emphasized.
太糟糕了，你們兩個在結(jié)婚之前，沒有就這件事進行公開和誠實的討論。我無法想象一個跨性別者對自身局限性的隱瞞，比如不能夠生育一個親生子女。這是組建家庭的一個非常重大和重要的問題。
如果你們兩個不能坦誠相待，你們的婚姻從一開始就注定是錯誤的。你不應(yīng)該和一個不能和你開誠公布的人結(jié)婚。她不應(yīng)該在對這么重要的問題保密的情況下嫁給你。
不是說變性人不能結(jié)婚，而是你不應(yīng)該和一個不能坦誠相待的人結(jié)婚，一個不會對你坦誠相見的人。
我強烈懷疑這是一個惡作劇的問題。變性手術(shù)是長達數(shù)年的咨詢治療和轉(zhuǎn)變過程的最后一步。通常強調(diào)對潛在的浪漫伴侶的坦誠相待。
Unless you married a mail-order bride that you had never met before, unless you never talked to your wife prior to the wedding, either in person or through social media, unless you never saw your wife’s body prior to the wedding, unless you never talked about her life prior to the wedding, unless you never met her friends, her family, prior to the wedding, there is no way that this comes as a surprise. If all or any of the aforementioned conditions are true, than you are either a complete idiot or way too naive and ignorant of the world for your own good. This is a troll question.
除非你娶了一個你以前從未見過的郵購新娘，除非你在婚禮前從未與妻子交談過，無論是親自還是通過社交媒體，除非你從未在婚禮前看到過妻子的身體，除非你從來沒有在婚禮前談?wù)撨^她的生活，除非你從沒在婚禮前見過她的朋友和家人，就可能發(fā)生這么讓人驚訝的事情。如果上述所有或任何一個條件都是真的，那么你要么是一個徹頭徹尾的白癡，要么太天真，對這個世界一無所知。這是一個釣魚問題。
Nothing. Keep doing what you were doing. Love her. There’s nothing wrong with that.
什么都不需要做，繼續(xù)做你在做的事。愛她。這沒什么錯。
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Are you blind and stupid, or just stupid?
你是又瞎又傻，還是僅僅只是傻？
She was not a man then, or now, and she never was. She has always been female.
I think it must be awful — just terrible every day — to be female carting around a boy’s body and listening to all the pressure to be boy-like when that is the opposite of what is true.
When your wife was a child, she was female in her brain, in her perceptions, her wishes, and in her future. What she had was courage to make her truth come out.
Now that she is an adult, she is still female. You are lucky to have a courageous woman who knew exactly who she was and who she wasn’t from the beginning.
Don’t be a dork! Your wife has been female her whole life. Cherish her. Recognize her goodness and her courage, and be proud of her.
That is what you should do.
And buy her flowers every week.
她當時或現(xiàn)在都不是男人，而且她從來都不是男人。她一直是女性。
我認為，當一個女人在男孩的身體里兜兜轉(zhuǎn)轉(zhuǎn)，傾聽所有的壓力，成為一個男孩的樣子，這一定很可怕，每天都很可怕。
當你的妻子還是個孩子的時候，她在她的大腦中，在她的認知中，在他的愿望中，在他的未來中，她都是女性。她所擁有的是敢于說出真相的勇氣。
現(xiàn)在她已經(jīng)成年了，她仍然是女性。你很幸運擁有一個勇敢的女人，她從一開始就知道自己是誰，也知道自己不是誰。
別傻了！你妻子一生都是女性。珍惜她。認識到她的善良和勇氣，并為她感到驕傲。
這是你應(yīng)該做的。
每周給她買花。
I find it hard to believe that your wife did not disclose this before marriage nor that there were not any indications beforehand that she had a past that she was hiding.
Anyway, I will play along and act like this is real.
The first thing I would suggest is counseling for both of you, especially her. If she is hiding such a significant portion of her life from you, she likely has some issues that need to be worked through with great care.
Counseling would be beneficial for you since you have had your trust broken in a very big way. I am hoping that you would have married her regardless of her past, but I can certainly understand if you now feel that you married a person who is not who you thought they were.
我很難相信你的妻子在婚前沒有透露這件事，也很難相信事先沒有任何跡象表明她有隱瞞的過去。
不管怎樣，我會配合，表現(xiàn)出這個問題是認真的。
我建議的第一件事是：你們倆，特別是她去做個心理咨詢。如果她對你隱瞞了她生命中如此重要的一部分，她可能有一些問題需要非常小心地解決。
咨詢對你是有益的，因為你的信任在很大程度上被打破了。我希望不管她的過去如何，你都不后悔和他結(jié)婚，但如果你現(xiàn)在覺得你娶給了一個與你想象中不一樣的人，我當然可以理解。
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If you love her/him nothing. I suspect that if your wife was born a man and was not a post operative transsexual you would know nothing about it. If they were preop you should have known after dating awhile as most long term partners become sexually intimate after dating awhile. If you love them stay with them and adopt a child if you want one (or have a surrogate mother carry your child), If you can't work around that I suppose it would be best for both of you if you leave.
如果你愛她/他，什么都不需要做。我很懷疑，你的妻子出生的時候是男人，手術(shù)后成了變性人，而你卻對此一無所知。如果你們約會過，在約會過后，你就應(yīng)該知道，因為大多數(shù)的長期伴侶在約會后都會發(fā)生性親密。如果你愛他，就留在他身邊，如果你想要一個孩子，就收養(yǎng)一個（或者代孕），如果你不想接受這些問題，那么分開是最好的選擇。
What do you want to do ? Run - freak out - scream - panic ?
Calm down. The person you are married to is a woman - she has all the female parts - - you’ve been there.
She may have been born a man but she wasn’t one.
You married her for a reason, She’s your soulmate, she loves you, she wants you - that hasn’t changed. What’s changed is your mind. You still love her as a woman.
THAT’S WHAT SHE IS !!!!
She’s a woman that adjusted the envelope that surrounded her and now she’s what she always knew she was.
Accept it. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t.
你想做什么？奔跑——瘋狂——尖叫——恐慌？
冷靜下來！和你結(jié)婚的人是一個女人——她擁有所有的女性部分——你去過那里。
她可能生來時是個男人，但她現(xiàn)在不是。
你娶她是有原因的，她是你的靈魂伴侶，她愛你，她想要你——這一切都沒有改變。改變的是你的想法。你仍然把她當做一個女人來愛他。
這就是她?。。?！
她是一個調(diào)整了包裹她的皮囊的女人，現(xiàn)在她成了她一直知道的樣子。
接受它。如果你不這樣做，你會后悔一輩子的。
Go back to bed.
You’ve been married already, not much else to do here’s a secret:
I know you love her!
Haha! You love her!
You love her!
That means you dated, became intimate with her and shared so much of yourself, and now you find out she was born male.
How has that changed the past? Zip.
Go back to bed.
回去睡覺吧。
你已經(jīng)結(jié)婚了，沒有什么好做的了，這是一個秘密：
我知道你愛她！
哈哈！你愛她！
你愛她！
這意味著你約會了，和她變得親密了，分享了很多你自己，現(xiàn)在你發(fā)現(xiàn)她出生的時候是男性。
這能改變過去嗎？對此保密。
回去睡覺吧。
You should handle it. But not share this info with anyone. Either stay and embrace your life and lie to everyone. Or you could leave and just tell everyone she he died in a plane crash.
你要處理好這件事。不要和任何人分享這些信息。要么留下來擁抱你的生活，對每個人撒謊，要么選擇離開，告訴所有人他死于飛機失事。
I see 2 issues here. First, why didn't she tell you before marrying you? That shows a tendency toward deviousness that's going to cloud your marriage, should you decide to stay with her. Second, you need to figure out if she being transgendered matters to you. For example, if you came into the marriage wanting children, then, obviously, you married the wrong woman. If you find you don't care about all that and love her as she is now, then you still have to deal with the deviousness and the lack of trust you now feel. I recommend talking it all over with a licensed therapist. Good luck.
我在這里看到兩個問題。首先，她為什么在嫁給你之前不告訴你？這表明，如果你決定和她在一起，你的婚姻會產(chǎn)生陰影。其次，你需要弄清楚，他是變性人這件事情對你的重要程度。例如，如果你結(jié)婚是想要孩子，那么很明顯，你娶錯了女人。如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)你不在乎這一切，并像以前一樣愛她，那么你仍然需要面對你現(xiàn)在感覺到的狡猾和缺乏信任。我建議你和有執(zhí)照的治療師好好談?wù)?。祝你好運。
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You’re not going to have kids, so if that’s an issue, you’ll have to adopt. If adoption is out of the question and you really want kids, then you’ll have to divorce.
你不會有孩子，所以如果這是一個問題，你必須收養(yǎng)一個。如果收養(yǎng)是不可能的，而你真的想要孩子，那么你必須離婚。
If this question is really sincere, I’d say what you do about it depends on how you feel about it. Some people would find it to be so off-putting that it would be an immediate deal breaker.
As has already been stated, your wife should have told you about this upfront—before the marriage. That she didn’t do that is dishonest, to say the very least. She’s also incapable of giving you children, in case that wasn’t mentioned either.
Regardless of what anyone else here says, your wife completely misrepresented herself. I know what I would do, if it were me, but you’re the only one who can decide what would work best for you.
如果這個問題真的很真誠，我會說你對此做什么取決于你對此的感受。有些人會覺得這太令人討厭了，以至于他會立即離婚。
如前所述，你的妻子應(yīng)該在結(jié)婚前提前告訴你這件事。至少可以說，她沒有這么做是不誠實的。她也沒有能力給你生孩子，萬一這也沒有提到。
不管這里的其他人怎么說，你妻子完全隱瞞了自己的信息。如果是我，我知道我會做什么，但你是唯一能決定，什么才是最適合你的人。
You just found out? Seriously?
how is the legal position where you live? Technically, you married a man. Is that legal? If not, then you will not be legally married.
Either way, good luck!
你剛剛發(fā)現(xiàn)的？認真的嗎？
你居住的法律是如何規(guī)定的？嚴格來說，你娶了一個男人，這合法嗎？如果不合法，那么婚姻就無效了。
不管怎樣，祝你好運！
Troll question???
Go and talk to a professional marriage-councilor immediately, not a bunch of know-nothings on the internet. We sit behind keyboards and pretend we help people when there are real people out there who at least get paid to pretend to help people. They have financial interest in your well being whereas I do not and therefor am not obligated to give you good advice.
My advice: Avoid dealing with the situation entirely. Sneak away in the dead of night. Immediately marry someone who you can put up with for a few years. Move to Cuba and start a new life there. Pretend the whole situation never happened. Die from rampant alcoholism 3 years later.
釣魚問題？？？
馬上去和一位專業(yè)的婚姻顧問談?wù)?，而不是在網(wǎng)上問一堆什么都不懂的人。我們坐在鍵盤后面，假裝我們在幫助別人，而外面有真正的，至少可以得到報酬，假裝幫助別人的人。他們對你的健康有經(jīng)濟利益，而我沒有，因此沒有義務(wù)給你好的建議。
我的建議是：完全避免處理這種情況。夜深人靜時偷偷溜走。立即娶給一個你能忍受幾年的人。搬到古巴，在那里開始新的生活。假裝整個事情從未發(fā)生過。3年后死于酗酒。
Nothing. Of course, she should have been upfront, but had you not known, you would have loved her all the same, right?
Talk to her. Have an honest conversation. But I definitely recommend taking time to talk and think, and don’t act rashly. This is someone you married because you love them. What she was born as doesn’t matter, because that is not who she is. That is not who she ever was. She has, and always will be a woman. What they identified her as at birth is not defining of her. That’s something that is important to remember.
什么都不做，當然，她應(yīng)該坦誠相待，但如果你不知道，你會一直愛她，對吧？
和她談?wù)劇Ｌ拐\交談。但我絕對建議你花時間去思考后再做決定，不要輕舉妄動。這是一個你因為愛而和他結(jié)婚的人。她出生時的樣子并不重要，因為那不是她現(xiàn)在的樣子，那不是她曾經(jīng)的樣子。她一直是，而且永遠是一個女人。他們認定她出生時的身份并不是對她的定義。這是需要記住的重要內(nèi)容。
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This is quite a betrayal by your partner. They should have advised you of this very significant piece of information from the very start, so that you could choose your own response. Now you’re finding out after the fact, after you’re married. You will have to have the freedom to decide if you will stay because basically you married under false pretences.
這是你伴侶的背叛。他們應(yīng)該從一開始就告訴你這條非常重要的信息，這樣你就可以選擇自己的回應(yīng)?，F(xiàn)在你結(jié)婚后才知道。你有自由決定是否留下來，因為基本上你是在虛假的情況下結(jié)婚的。
Divorce IT ASAP! IT lied and more so Shim is a dude no matter what the other idiots are trying to explain away that there is not two genders! Damn remember when gender was decided by a penis or a vagina and not a idea?
盡快與她離婚！她撒謊了，更重要的是，不管其他白癡試圖解釋什么，她都是個男人，因為沒有兩種性別的人！該死的，還記得性別是由陰莖或陰道決定的，而不是一個想法嗎？
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What difference should that make? She must have been woman enough for you before you found out. The sex assigned at birth does not always equate to one’s gender. The only drawback would be that she would be unable to conceive and bear children. Well, you can always adopt children if you two want to raise a family together.
這有什么區(qū)別？在你發(fā)現(xiàn)之前，她一定已經(jīng)夠女人了。出生時分配的性別并不總是等同于一個人的性別。唯一的缺點是她無法懷孕和生育。嗯，如果你們兩個想共同撫養(yǎng)一個孩子，你可以收養(yǎng)孩子。
If it was me, I’d try to get the marriage annulled on the grounds of fraud. If (s)he’s kept this huge secret from you, God only knows what else they’re not telling you.
如果是我，我會試圖以欺詐為由取消婚姻。如果他對你隱瞞了這個巨大的秘密，只有上帝知道，他還有什么沒有告訴你。
I strongly disagree with many of these answers and even your own sense of self doubt.
You met a person. YOU LIKED THAT PERSON. Ok, you liked that person alot. Clearly this person had gone all the way through to post op and had/has a vagina now.
YOU LIKED HER ENOUGH AS A FEMALE TO MARRY HER.
You do realize that is what love, life, and marriage are supposed to be about.
SO… why are you worried now?
IS THIS ABOUT WHAT YOUR PARENTS, YOUR FAMILY, OR YOUR FRIENDS ALL THINK?
Because honestly is not their business or their lives. ITS YOURS. You dont have to tell anyone. I would guess she was attractive enough as a female that most would be fooled.
我強烈不同意這些答案，甚至你自己的自我懷疑感。
你遇到了一個人。你喜歡那個人。好吧，你很喜歡那個人。很明顯，這個人一直走到手術(shù)后，現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)有了陰道。
作為一個女人，你很喜歡她，愿意和她結(jié)婚。
你確實意識到，這就是愛情、生活和婚姻的本質(zhì)。
所以……你現(xiàn)在為什么擔心？
這是你父母、家人或朋友的想法嗎？
誠實一點，這不是他們的事，也不是他們的生活。這是你的。你不必告訴任何一個人。我猜她作為一個女性一定足夠有魅力，以至于大多數(shù)人都被愚弄了。
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“what should I Do’? Marriage is is about Love. you married her because you love her, so what has changed? she is a woman, always has been, It is odd that you have enquired about about her medical history so late in relationship. Many men would love to be in your position but for different reasons personal to them selves. so in answer to ‘what should I do’? is, Love her with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your body. it is simple, you are married, you are husband and wife.
“我該怎么辦？“婚姻是關(guān)于愛的。你和她結(jié)婚是因為你愛她，所以現(xiàn)在有什么變化嗎？她是一個女人，一直都是這樣。奇怪的是，你這么晚才詢問她的病史。很多男人都想站在你的位置，但對他們來說，原因各不相同。所以，問題的答案是，你應(yīng)該全心全意地愛她，用你所有的思想和身體。很簡單，你結(jié)婚了，你們是夫妻。